of Jack's likes and dislikes, I think it'd look something like this.
LOVES
1. Mommy
2. Daddy
3. Spencer
4. Breastmilk from the source
5. Grabbing animal fur
6. Echos
7. Ceiling fans
8. Being held/carried
LIKES
1. Mom and Pop
2. Hannah
3. Biting people and things
4. Trying to eat paper
5. Breastmilk from a bottle
6. Making angry noises
7. Going outside and eating sticks/leaves/grass
8. Taking a bath
HATES
1. Most people
2. Loud noises
3. Car rides > 10 minutes
4. Being put down
5. Wearing clothes, especially footie pajamas
6. Taking a nap > 45 minutes
7. Shopping
8. Riding in the stroller/buggy
9. Mommy going anywhere and not including him
10. The sound of the washer and/or dryer while trying to sleep
11. Wind
12. Rain that gets on him
13. Being on his tummy
We're going back to Little Rock today. My hope is that he screams for one hour or less of the trip. Wish me luck.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Things I Wonder...
1. Who complained about our yard? And by yard, I don't mean the large visible space in the front. I mean the small (like 8X3) space on the side that I didn't even realize belonged to us until this summer. That we've never done anything with and that isn't that bad. Do the old people on my block not have anything else to do? Do they not realize that I have two young kids, a job, and a husband that works 60 hours a week (and who really doesn't do the yard anyway)? Come on!
2. Why did the bird have to be dismembered? Was he really not good enough dead? Did you just get a wild hair in you and HAVE to tear half of his little body off? And also, why could you not have done that outside? I really hate finding feathers in strange obscure spaces for days after the fact.
3. WTF are the ants after? I mean, do they have a death wish? Because that is all that will come from them invading my kitchen. It doesn't matter if the counters are dirty or sparkling clean, in come the ants. DIE, ants, DIE!
4. Why haven't I won the million on the McDonald's monopoly game yet? I'm waiting...
5. Why does Jack always pick the best part of my favorite shows to either A) decide it is bedtime or B) wake up and need to be nursed back to sleep? Seriously. I missed the best parts of "Glee" last week.
6. What is the deal with WIC giving so much freaking milk? My family cannot drink over 10 gallons of milk a month, and the fact that they give it to you basically all at once just means it is going to sit in my house and go bad.
2. Why did the bird have to be dismembered? Was he really not good enough dead? Did you just get a wild hair in you and HAVE to tear half of his little body off? And also, why could you not have done that outside? I really hate finding feathers in strange obscure spaces for days after the fact.
3. WTF are the ants after? I mean, do they have a death wish? Because that is all that will come from them invading my kitchen. It doesn't matter if the counters are dirty or sparkling clean, in come the ants. DIE, ants, DIE!
4. Why haven't I won the million on the McDonald's monopoly game yet? I'm waiting...
5. Why does Jack always pick the best part of my favorite shows to either A) decide it is bedtime or B) wake up and need to be nursed back to sleep? Seriously. I missed the best parts of "Glee" last week.
6. What is the deal with WIC giving so much freaking milk? My family cannot drink over 10 gallons of milk a month, and the fact that they give it to you basically all at once just means it is going to sit in my house and go bad.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Memories I Can't Keep
Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose. -The Wonder Years
Ok, I just quoted the TV show The Wonder Years. I feel it applies here. ;-)
There are days that I wish I could hold on to every little thing my boys do. I look at Spencer with his shaggy hair (he's recently decided to grow it back out) and I see the way it falls across his eyes. I want to lock that picture away. And the way Jack looks when he is in full on belly laugh mode, with his mouth wide open, showing his two pearly white teeth, eyes closed, and head thrown back. I want to store it for later. And not just the picture of the things, but the feelings behind them. And the situations surrounding them. But I can't.
A few days ago, Jack was nuzzled into my neck and I noticed that, for the first time, he had bedhead. And not just a bit of temporary bedhead, but the kind that you can't just smooth down with your hand. And I realized in that moment how many memories I've lost with the passage of time. I'll probably lose that one eventually.
How much of Spencer's babyhood has left me? I don't remember how he smelled. Or where he was the most ticklish. Or what made him laugh more than anything else. And that's just what I've lost from his first year. What about the way he tottled around when he was just learning to walk? Or the first time he ever gave me a kiss? Or told me he loved me unprovoked? All gone.
This has made me want to hold on to whatever I can get while I can. Jack is still new enough that I remember how he felt, all warm and wet, when he was first placed on my chest. And I remember how his new baby head smelled so good even though we didn't bathe him for a week after his birth.
And I want to cling on to what Spencer is doing with new ferocity. He traced his name all by himself for the first time this week. And he's getting sneaky when he does something he knows he's not supposed to.
I guess the brain is only meant to hold so much. But it kills me that all these little things will leave me over time to be replaced with just the big stuff. I hope its enough.
Ok, I just quoted the TV show The Wonder Years. I feel it applies here. ;-)
There are days that I wish I could hold on to every little thing my boys do. I look at Spencer with his shaggy hair (he's recently decided to grow it back out) and I see the way it falls across his eyes. I want to lock that picture away. And the way Jack looks when he is in full on belly laugh mode, with his mouth wide open, showing his two pearly white teeth, eyes closed, and head thrown back. I want to store it for later. And not just the picture of the things, but the feelings behind them. And the situations surrounding them. But I can't.
A few days ago, Jack was nuzzled into my neck and I noticed that, for the first time, he had bedhead. And not just a bit of temporary bedhead, but the kind that you can't just smooth down with your hand. And I realized in that moment how many memories I've lost with the passage of time. I'll probably lose that one eventually.
How much of Spencer's babyhood has left me? I don't remember how he smelled. Or where he was the most ticklish. Or what made him laugh more than anything else. And that's just what I've lost from his first year. What about the way he tottled around when he was just learning to walk? Or the first time he ever gave me a kiss? Or told me he loved me unprovoked? All gone.
This has made me want to hold on to whatever I can get while I can. Jack is still new enough that I remember how he felt, all warm and wet, when he was first placed on my chest. And I remember how his new baby head smelled so good even though we didn't bathe him for a week after his birth.
And I want to cling on to what Spencer is doing with new ferocity. He traced his name all by himself for the first time this week. And he's getting sneaky when he does something he knows he's not supposed to.
I guess the brain is only meant to hold so much. But it kills me that all these little things will leave me over time to be replaced with just the big stuff. I hope its enough.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Week 4 Weigh-In
So this week rounds out my first month on Weight Watchers. As of this morning, I'm down another 2 pounds for a total of 15.6 pounds lost! Love it!
Monday, September 28, 2009
Week 3 Weigh-In
This will be quick b/c Jack is ready for bed, but I want to be accountable.
Monday is weigh day, so onto the scale I went this morning.
And I'm down another 3 pounds to make my total weight lost at this point 13.6 pounds. Woot! No complaints from me.
I really wanted to be at approx. 20 pounds down at the end of the month when we're having pictures made. I don't think I'll quite get there, but I'll be close enough to be happy with it.
Monday is weigh day, so onto the scale I went this morning.
And I'm down another 3 pounds to make my total weight lost at this point 13.6 pounds. Woot! No complaints from me.
I really wanted to be at approx. 20 pounds down at the end of the month when we're having pictures made. I don't think I'll quite get there, but I'll be close enough to be happy with it.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Body by Baby
Right now, I have a "body by baby." Technically, you could say I have a "body by babies" since I never got those last 5 pounds from Spencer off, but I got close enough, I think.
In April of 2004, I had hit my highest weight (to that date, at least) of 219.5 pounds. When I stepped on the scale, I was mortified. I had no idea that my weight had crept up so high; I just knew that Old Navy's sizing had obviously gotten smaller as I was wearing a XXL. Denial in its finest.
I stumbled across the Atkins diet on accident and decided to give it a try. At the time, I needed the rigidness it provided (you can eat these things, you can't eat those) and it worked out perfectly. Between April and November of 2004, I lost almost 50 pounds. It felt great.
That November, I found myself unexpectedly pregnant. At least I was married. Ha! Anyway, it isn't advisable to do Atkins while pregnant, so I threw it out the window and, man, did I throw it far. I was still eating reasonably, but I had added all the "no-no" foods back in; stuff like whole wheat bread, oatmeal, and tater tots. Ok, so I wasn't perfect, but I certainly wasn't out of control.
My weight gain stayed in check pretty well until my water broke and I landed in the hospital for 10 weeks on strict bedrest. I was doing my student teaching at the time and was on my feet, moving and shaking, for about 6.5 hours a day. Once I was in the hospital, the most I walked was the 5 feet between the hospital bed and the bathroom. Not the mention the fact that hospital food is incredibly unhealthy, go figure. My meals consisted of things like fried fish, double cheeseburgers, and huge slices of pepperoni pizza. By the time my pregnancy was over at the 30 week point, I'd put on over 40 pounds.
Once I was home from the hospital, I didn't resume Atkins (I was pumping for Spencer and Atkins also isn't recommended during breastfeeding b/c it can impact your supply) but I did keep an eye on what I ate. The weight began moving down, slowly but surely. After my milk supply ran dry (I will always thank the awesome doctor that told me to take sudafed, a drug that is WELL known to dry up milk *sarcasm*), I got back on Atkins and dropped down to 179, which was a mere 2 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight.
Then, in October of 2006, my step-mother was in a terrible car accident. My eating has spiraled out of control ever since and was on its way back up when I got pregnant with Jack (expectedly, this time, LOL) last June.
Man, oh man, did I have fun eating during my pregnancy! I even turned backwards on the scale at the doctor's office so I didn't have to see the damage (my midwife didn't weigh me). Looking back, I had to have gained at LEAST 50 pounds.
In the immediate 8 weeks or so after his birth, I didn't change anything. I didn't want to affect my milk supply, of course. And I couldn't exercise b/c I couldn't leave Jack. He wouldn't take a bottle and, if he got hungry, Jake would be SOL on feeding him. Excuses, excuses. And I actually GAINED weight while breastfeeding! Looking at pictures of me from a few days postpartum and then again at my sister's wedding, which was 8 weeks later, you can see the weight gain in my face. When I figured it out, I couldn't believe it.
So I decided it was time to take action. I did Weight Watchers back before my wedding in 2003 and thought it was terrible. I was hungry all the time and it took forever for me to lose any weight. But I knew they had a program tailored to breastfeeding mothers, so I looked into it again, and a lot has changed.
Two weeks ago I joined. And, wow, do I love the program. In the first week, I lost a bit over 5 pounds (which will slow down as my body settles into the plan; it isn't typical to lose so much on a week to week basis). I'm also planning on joining a gym soon. When I did Atkins, I worked out about 6 days a week and loved it. I want to do that again.
Mondays are my weigh days and I'll probably keep track of my weight loss here each week (and hopefully get some measurements eventually too). I think being public will keep me honest.
In April of 2004, I had hit my highest weight (to that date, at least) of 219.5 pounds. When I stepped on the scale, I was mortified. I had no idea that my weight had crept up so high; I just knew that Old Navy's sizing had obviously gotten smaller as I was wearing a XXL. Denial in its finest.
I stumbled across the Atkins diet on accident and decided to give it a try. At the time, I needed the rigidness it provided (you can eat these things, you can't eat those) and it worked out perfectly. Between April and November of 2004, I lost almost 50 pounds. It felt great.
That November, I found myself unexpectedly pregnant. At least I was married. Ha! Anyway, it isn't advisable to do Atkins while pregnant, so I threw it out the window and, man, did I throw it far. I was still eating reasonably, but I had added all the "no-no" foods back in; stuff like whole wheat bread, oatmeal, and tater tots. Ok, so I wasn't perfect, but I certainly wasn't out of control.
My weight gain stayed in check pretty well until my water broke and I landed in the hospital for 10 weeks on strict bedrest. I was doing my student teaching at the time and was on my feet, moving and shaking, for about 6.5 hours a day. Once I was in the hospital, the most I walked was the 5 feet between the hospital bed and the bathroom. Not the mention the fact that hospital food is incredibly unhealthy, go figure. My meals consisted of things like fried fish, double cheeseburgers, and huge slices of pepperoni pizza. By the time my pregnancy was over at the 30 week point, I'd put on over 40 pounds.
Once I was home from the hospital, I didn't resume Atkins (I was pumping for Spencer and Atkins also isn't recommended during breastfeeding b/c it can impact your supply) but I did keep an eye on what I ate. The weight began moving down, slowly but surely. After my milk supply ran dry (I will always thank the awesome doctor that told me to take sudafed, a drug that is WELL known to dry up milk *sarcasm*), I got back on Atkins and dropped down to 179, which was a mere 2 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight.
Then, in October of 2006, my step-mother was in a terrible car accident. My eating has spiraled out of control ever since and was on its way back up when I got pregnant with Jack (expectedly, this time, LOL) last June.
Man, oh man, did I have fun eating during my pregnancy! I even turned backwards on the scale at the doctor's office so I didn't have to see the damage (my midwife didn't weigh me). Looking back, I had to have gained at LEAST 50 pounds.
In the immediate 8 weeks or so after his birth, I didn't change anything. I didn't want to affect my milk supply, of course. And I couldn't exercise b/c I couldn't leave Jack. He wouldn't take a bottle and, if he got hungry, Jake would be SOL on feeding him. Excuses, excuses. And I actually GAINED weight while breastfeeding! Looking at pictures of me from a few days postpartum and then again at my sister's wedding, which was 8 weeks later, you can see the weight gain in my face. When I figured it out, I couldn't believe it.
So I decided it was time to take action. I did Weight Watchers back before my wedding in 2003 and thought it was terrible. I was hungry all the time and it took forever for me to lose any weight. But I knew they had a program tailored to breastfeeding mothers, so I looked into it again, and a lot has changed.
Two weeks ago I joined. And, wow, do I love the program. In the first week, I lost a bit over 5 pounds (which will slow down as my body settles into the plan; it isn't typical to lose so much on a week to week basis). I'm also planning on joining a gym soon. When I did Atkins, I worked out about 6 days a week and loved it. I want to do that again.
Mondays are my weigh days and I'll probably keep track of my weight loss here each week (and hopefully get some measurements eventually too). I think being public will keep me honest.
Friday, September 11, 2009
The Value of a Mother
Today I am faced with a question that I'm sure many "domestic engineers" have been faced with through the years: Am I worth less just because I don't work (or only work part time)?
Of course, I absolutely think I have immense value. I work part time, so I am able to contribute financially to our household, no matter how meager my wage. ;-) And I'm lucky enough to work for a Mother's Day Out program so both the boys come with me everyday. Because I only work 26 hours a week, I still consider myself a stay-at-home mom for the most part. I carry most of the child rearing and housekeeping roles.
So with all of this, why was I told this afternoon that everyday is a vacation day for me?
I, for one, do not feel like everyday is a vacation day. Vacation implies relaxation and, hopefully, a beach. Sure, I get spurts of down time, but they usually occur in 10-15 minute increments. Certainly not the mecca of relaxation that my partner apparently feels I experience on a daily basis.
Where do I go from here? I feel, well, I guess I don't know how I feel. What does one do when they realize they aren't valued like they should be? The answer escapes me at this moment.
Of course, I absolutely think I have immense value. I work part time, so I am able to contribute financially to our household, no matter how meager my wage. ;-) And I'm lucky enough to work for a Mother's Day Out program so both the boys come with me everyday. Because I only work 26 hours a week, I still consider myself a stay-at-home mom for the most part. I carry most of the child rearing and housekeeping roles.
So with all of this, why was I told this afternoon that everyday is a vacation day for me?
I, for one, do not feel like everyday is a vacation day. Vacation implies relaxation and, hopefully, a beach. Sure, I get spurts of down time, but they usually occur in 10-15 minute increments. Certainly not the mecca of relaxation that my partner apparently feels I experience on a daily basis.
Where do I go from here? I feel, well, I guess I don't know how I feel. What does one do when they realize they aren't valued like they should be? The answer escapes me at this moment.
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