Premature Blessings

I am a member of a message board for mothers of toddlers who were premature at birth. Most of us met on the Preemie Parenting board at Baby Center and most of our kids were born between late 2004 and early 2006.

I am constantly amazed and awed by these women. Some of our children have little to no residual effects of their prematurity. If I didn't tell you Spencer was premature at birth, you probably wouldn't guess on your own. Some of our children have moderate to severe disabilities that are an effect of prematurity. We have children with CP, IVHs, and PVL. Children who are deaf or blind (or both). Children who, still, are in and out of the hospital on a bi-weekly basis.

As I was reading the blogs of one of these women, gratitude swept over me. How many times did Spencer (and I) dodge a bullet in the NICU?

In the beginning, they weren't expecting his lungs to have developed. They thought he would have lungs that were, literally, hard, and therefore unable to expand. This would have been fatal.

Next, they had a hard time getting his blood gasses to stabilize and had to put him on a gas called nitric oxide (different from the nitrous oxide you get at the dentist). Nitric oxide can cause brain bleeds, so the less time a baby spends on it, the better. Brain bleeds (or IVHs) can range from a level I, which resolves on its own, usually without consequence, to a level IV, which causes brain damage. Spencer spent days on nitric oxide and never showed a hint of a brain bleed.

Then, I received the middle of the night phone call that every NICU parent dreads. Spencer was having a problem (NEC, they said) that was going to require a transfer to a different hospital and surgery. NEC can be mild, fatal, or somewhere in between (with the in between requiring an ostomy and a second surgery). Turns out it was a "simple" hole in his stomach, put there by the nurse who inserted his feeding tube. I was so grateful that it wasn't NEC that it never occurred at me to be angry with that nurse (well, at least until much later).

The potential for Spencer to be disabled was there, and yet he's not. He's an outgoing, beautiful, amazing, perfectly normal little boy. And, thank you, thank you God, I am so grateful for that. I'm grateful that he lived. I'm grateful that he's thriving. I'm grateful.