Terrorists

I'm not a fan of terrorists.  (Please note that government agent who is reading this: I don't like them!)

I don't like the terrorists that blow up buildings and I don't like the kind that make my life difficult through acts of terrorism.

Lately, there has been a terrorist in my life, controlling me through excessive tantruming and screaming.  I have a picture of him.  Hold on and I'll show you...

Although, at this point, his face is clean and his hair has been cut.

I'm sure that it sucks to be a pre-verbal toddler.  I assume that you have all these pent up thoughts and wants and words inside you and you just can't make your mouth move the right way to tell someone about it.  I'm almost positive that it is frustration that leads to some of the tantruming.

I'm here to tell you, it sucks to be the parent of a pre-verbal toddler as well.  It is constant vigilance and, occasionally, surrender to the tantruming party.

But some of his tantrums are simply caused by the fact that he emerged from my body knowing exactly what he wanted, when he wanted and from a very early age, he has worked to get it.

I'm a big believer that I, as his mother, am responsible for teaching him how to deal with big emotions.  Punishing him for having them probably wouldn't do anything but teach him to bottle them up and not share them with me, which I would think could have far reaching implications when he's older.  So we talk.  And talk. And talk.  And I try to help him label his big emotions and  process his anger or sadness or disappointment so that, when he becomes verbal, he can look at me and say, "Mommy, I'm angry!"

Or, you know, "Mommy, I hate you!"  Whatever.

Walters' Family Terminology

We use a lot of code around here.  Today I was talking to a co-worker and I used one of our phrases and she looked at me strangely.  It took me a minute to figure out that I had thrown a term in there and she had no clue what I was talking about.  So it got me thinking about all the things we say that are our "code."

One: This is what we sometimes call Spencer.

Two: Jack

Three: Fin

The bigs: Spencer and Jack

The littles: Jack and Fin (my poor Jack, always stuck in the middle)

Winka: Spencer

Tuna Roona: Jack

Finna: Fin

Skank-muffin: What Jake sometimes calls me when he sees me come out wearing some article of his clothing.  I like to think this means, "Oh dear wife! You look so adorable when you wear my things!"  Jake said that's not an accurate description.  Judging by the way he tends to be shooting daggers at me when he says it, he may be telling the truth.

Kentucky Fried Chicken: Rice Krispy Treats.  On Tuesday, during our snow day, I made rice krispy treats.  By the time dinner rolled around, they were gone.  Jake, with a look of indignation on his face, said, "I can't believe you guys ate all the Kentucky Fried Chicken already!  I barely even got some!"  I was SO confused.  I can't remember the last time we had KFC in the house.  It didn't even register to Jake that he had said Kentucky Fried Chicken until he saw the perplexed look on my face.  Then he corrected himself, "I meant rice krispy treats." And from that day forward, rice krispy treats became known as Kentucky Fried Chicken.

This: As in, "Take this baby from me before I go insane."

Eatin' spaghetti: What you say when someone asks you what you are doing when it is really obvious what you are doing.

To the gypsies!: Where I tell the bigs I'm going to send them when they're being naughty.

THE LIST: The compilation of people, both male and female, that we'd allow the other party to stray for.  THE LIST is primarily made up of celebrities.

Mommy/Daddy Fun Time: The time between when the kids go to bed and when the adults go to bed.

Sunshine: Any horse.  My grandmother has a horse named Sunshine and as soon as Jack learned to say it (which sounds something like Rye-Rye), all horses were bequeathed with that name.

The stinkers: Poop.

Bee Boo: Belly button.

Beards: Beer.  We have Spencer's slight speech impediment to thank for that one.

There is your Walters' lexicon.  No more perplexed looks allowed.