This will be quick b/c Jack is ready for bed, but I want to be accountable.
Monday is weigh day, so onto the scale I went this morning.
And I'm down another 3 pounds to make my total weight lost at this point 13.6 pounds. Woot! No complaints from me.
I really wanted to be at approx. 20 pounds down at the end of the month when we're having pictures made. I don't think I'll quite get there, but I'll be close enough to be happy with it.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Body by Baby
Right now, I have a "body by baby." Technically, you could say I have a "body by babies" since I never got those last 5 pounds from Spencer off, but I got close enough, I think.
In April of 2004, I had hit my highest weight (to that date, at least) of 219.5 pounds. When I stepped on the scale, I was mortified. I had no idea that my weight had crept up so high; I just knew that Old Navy's sizing had obviously gotten smaller as I was wearing a XXL. Denial in its finest.
I stumbled across the Atkins diet on accident and decided to give it a try. At the time, I needed the rigidness it provided (you can eat these things, you can't eat those) and it worked out perfectly. Between April and November of 2004, I lost almost 50 pounds. It felt great.
That November, I found myself unexpectedly pregnant. At least I was married. Ha! Anyway, it isn't advisable to do Atkins while pregnant, so I threw it out the window and, man, did I throw it far. I was still eating reasonably, but I had added all the "no-no" foods back in; stuff like whole wheat bread, oatmeal, and tater tots. Ok, so I wasn't perfect, but I certainly wasn't out of control.
My weight gain stayed in check pretty well until my water broke and I landed in the hospital for 10 weeks on strict bedrest. I was doing my student teaching at the time and was on my feet, moving and shaking, for about 6.5 hours a day. Once I was in the hospital, the most I walked was the 5 feet between the hospital bed and the bathroom. Not the mention the fact that hospital food is incredibly unhealthy, go figure. My meals consisted of things like fried fish, double cheeseburgers, and huge slices of pepperoni pizza. By the time my pregnancy was over at the 30 week point, I'd put on over 40 pounds.
Once I was home from the hospital, I didn't resume Atkins (I was pumping for Spencer and Atkins also isn't recommended during breastfeeding b/c it can impact your supply) but I did keep an eye on what I ate. The weight began moving down, slowly but surely. After my milk supply ran dry (I will always thank the awesome doctor that told me to take sudafed, a drug that is WELL known to dry up milk *sarcasm*), I got back on Atkins and dropped down to 179, which was a mere 2 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight.
Then, in October of 2006, my step-mother was in a terrible car accident. My eating has spiraled out of control ever since and was on its way back up when I got pregnant with Jack (expectedly, this time, LOL) last June.
Man, oh man, did I have fun eating during my pregnancy! I even turned backwards on the scale at the doctor's office so I didn't have to see the damage (my midwife didn't weigh me). Looking back, I had to have gained at LEAST 50 pounds.
In the immediate 8 weeks or so after his birth, I didn't change anything. I didn't want to affect my milk supply, of course. And I couldn't exercise b/c I couldn't leave Jack. He wouldn't take a bottle and, if he got hungry, Jake would be SOL on feeding him. Excuses, excuses. And I actually GAINED weight while breastfeeding! Looking at pictures of me from a few days postpartum and then again at my sister's wedding, which was 8 weeks later, you can see the weight gain in my face. When I figured it out, I couldn't believe it.
So I decided it was time to take action. I did Weight Watchers back before my wedding in 2003 and thought it was terrible. I was hungry all the time and it took forever for me to lose any weight. But I knew they had a program tailored to breastfeeding mothers, so I looked into it again, and a lot has changed.
Two weeks ago I joined. And, wow, do I love the program. In the first week, I lost a bit over 5 pounds (which will slow down as my body settles into the plan; it isn't typical to lose so much on a week to week basis). I'm also planning on joining a gym soon. When I did Atkins, I worked out about 6 days a week and loved it. I want to do that again.
Mondays are my weigh days and I'll probably keep track of my weight loss here each week (and hopefully get some measurements eventually too). I think being public will keep me honest.
In April of 2004, I had hit my highest weight (to that date, at least) of 219.5 pounds. When I stepped on the scale, I was mortified. I had no idea that my weight had crept up so high; I just knew that Old Navy's sizing had obviously gotten smaller as I was wearing a XXL. Denial in its finest.
I stumbled across the Atkins diet on accident and decided to give it a try. At the time, I needed the rigidness it provided (you can eat these things, you can't eat those) and it worked out perfectly. Between April and November of 2004, I lost almost 50 pounds. It felt great.
That November, I found myself unexpectedly pregnant. At least I was married. Ha! Anyway, it isn't advisable to do Atkins while pregnant, so I threw it out the window and, man, did I throw it far. I was still eating reasonably, but I had added all the "no-no" foods back in; stuff like whole wheat bread, oatmeal, and tater tots. Ok, so I wasn't perfect, but I certainly wasn't out of control.
My weight gain stayed in check pretty well until my water broke and I landed in the hospital for 10 weeks on strict bedrest. I was doing my student teaching at the time and was on my feet, moving and shaking, for about 6.5 hours a day. Once I was in the hospital, the most I walked was the 5 feet between the hospital bed and the bathroom. Not the mention the fact that hospital food is incredibly unhealthy, go figure. My meals consisted of things like fried fish, double cheeseburgers, and huge slices of pepperoni pizza. By the time my pregnancy was over at the 30 week point, I'd put on over 40 pounds.
Once I was home from the hospital, I didn't resume Atkins (I was pumping for Spencer and Atkins also isn't recommended during breastfeeding b/c it can impact your supply) but I did keep an eye on what I ate. The weight began moving down, slowly but surely. After my milk supply ran dry (I will always thank the awesome doctor that told me to take sudafed, a drug that is WELL known to dry up milk *sarcasm*), I got back on Atkins and dropped down to 179, which was a mere 2 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight.
Then, in October of 2006, my step-mother was in a terrible car accident. My eating has spiraled out of control ever since and was on its way back up when I got pregnant with Jack (expectedly, this time, LOL) last June.
Man, oh man, did I have fun eating during my pregnancy! I even turned backwards on the scale at the doctor's office so I didn't have to see the damage (my midwife didn't weigh me). Looking back, I had to have gained at LEAST 50 pounds.
In the immediate 8 weeks or so after his birth, I didn't change anything. I didn't want to affect my milk supply, of course. And I couldn't exercise b/c I couldn't leave Jack. He wouldn't take a bottle and, if he got hungry, Jake would be SOL on feeding him. Excuses, excuses. And I actually GAINED weight while breastfeeding! Looking at pictures of me from a few days postpartum and then again at my sister's wedding, which was 8 weeks later, you can see the weight gain in my face. When I figured it out, I couldn't believe it.
So I decided it was time to take action. I did Weight Watchers back before my wedding in 2003 and thought it was terrible. I was hungry all the time and it took forever for me to lose any weight. But I knew they had a program tailored to breastfeeding mothers, so I looked into it again, and a lot has changed.
Two weeks ago I joined. And, wow, do I love the program. In the first week, I lost a bit over 5 pounds (which will slow down as my body settles into the plan; it isn't typical to lose so much on a week to week basis). I'm also planning on joining a gym soon. When I did Atkins, I worked out about 6 days a week and loved it. I want to do that again.
Mondays are my weigh days and I'll probably keep track of my weight loss here each week (and hopefully get some measurements eventually too). I think being public will keep me honest.
Friday, September 11, 2009
The Value of a Mother
Today I am faced with a question that I'm sure many "domestic engineers" have been faced with through the years: Am I worth less just because I don't work (or only work part time)?
Of course, I absolutely think I have immense value. I work part time, so I am able to contribute financially to our household, no matter how meager my wage. ;-) And I'm lucky enough to work for a Mother's Day Out program so both the boys come with me everyday. Because I only work 26 hours a week, I still consider myself a stay-at-home mom for the most part. I carry most of the child rearing and housekeeping roles.
So with all of this, why was I told this afternoon that everyday is a vacation day for me?
I, for one, do not feel like everyday is a vacation day. Vacation implies relaxation and, hopefully, a beach. Sure, I get spurts of down time, but they usually occur in 10-15 minute increments. Certainly not the mecca of relaxation that my partner apparently feels I experience on a daily basis.
Where do I go from here? I feel, well, I guess I don't know how I feel. What does one do when they realize they aren't valued like they should be? The answer escapes me at this moment.
Of course, I absolutely think I have immense value. I work part time, so I am able to contribute financially to our household, no matter how meager my wage. ;-) And I'm lucky enough to work for a Mother's Day Out program so both the boys come with me everyday. Because I only work 26 hours a week, I still consider myself a stay-at-home mom for the most part. I carry most of the child rearing and housekeeping roles.
So with all of this, why was I told this afternoon that everyday is a vacation day for me?
I, for one, do not feel like everyday is a vacation day. Vacation implies relaxation and, hopefully, a beach. Sure, I get spurts of down time, but they usually occur in 10-15 minute increments. Certainly not the mecca of relaxation that my partner apparently feels I experience on a daily basis.
Where do I go from here? I feel, well, I guess I don't know how I feel. What does one do when they realize they aren't valued like they should be? The answer escapes me at this moment.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Our Family Bed
There are a lot of names for what we do. Some call it the family bed. Others call it co-sleeping. I just call it having the baby in the bed.
For me, this is the epitome of lazy parenting. ;-) Our decision to put Jack in the bed with us from the day of this birth was twofold: we didn't really have the space for a crib and I didn't want to have to schlep to another room (or even across our room, to be honest) to get him for night feedings. By virtue of the fact that we planned to exclusively breastfeed (big success on that front!), I would be doing all the feedings at night. Additionally, breastfed babies tend to eat more often at night and need night feedings through the first year. That meant that not only would I be doing all the night feedings, I'd be doing a lot of them. Co-sleeping meant that I could simply roll over, latch Jack on, and drift back off to sleep.
For the most part, my pre-Jack idea of what co-sleeping would entail has been spot on. I know he still wakes up in the night, but I have no idea how many times a night or when those wakings occur. Every morning, I have a vague idea that I may have been woken, but my recollections tend to be spotty and blurry at best.
I don't think I know Jake's true feelings on the matter. He's been, theoretically, on board since the beginning, but I am getting the feeling that he may be falling out of love with the actuality of it. Several times in the past month he's mentioned being kicked by Jack at night or needing a bigger bed. Of course, I think he's A) a pansy and B) crazy. I try to treat the bed space like the Chinese treat unauthorized second children: Jack doesn't get his own bed ration, he shares mine. I do my best to make sure that Jake gets a wide berth at night, but of course I have no idea what is actually happening at 3 am. I'm asleep. :-D
I am hoping that we can continue the co-sleeping until Jack is about a year old. My ultimate goal is to get the boys bunk beds and transition Jack to the bottom bunk sometime next spring. If things go my way, I'll still be able to go sleep with Jack part of the night if he needs me. That way Jake gets a really wide berth.
For me, this is the epitome of lazy parenting. ;-) Our decision to put Jack in the bed with us from the day of this birth was twofold: we didn't really have the space for a crib and I didn't want to have to schlep to another room (or even across our room, to be honest) to get him for night feedings. By virtue of the fact that we planned to exclusively breastfeed (big success on that front!), I would be doing all the feedings at night. Additionally, breastfed babies tend to eat more often at night and need night feedings through the first year. That meant that not only would I be doing all the night feedings, I'd be doing a lot of them. Co-sleeping meant that I could simply roll over, latch Jack on, and drift back off to sleep.
For the most part, my pre-Jack idea of what co-sleeping would entail has been spot on. I know he still wakes up in the night, but I have no idea how many times a night or when those wakings occur. Every morning, I have a vague idea that I may have been woken, but my recollections tend to be spotty and blurry at best.
I don't think I know Jake's true feelings on the matter. He's been, theoretically, on board since the beginning, but I am getting the feeling that he may be falling out of love with the actuality of it. Several times in the past month he's mentioned being kicked by Jack at night or needing a bigger bed. Of course, I think he's A) a pansy and B) crazy. I try to treat the bed space like the Chinese treat unauthorized second children: Jack doesn't get his own bed ration, he shares mine. I do my best to make sure that Jake gets a wide berth at night, but of course I have no idea what is actually happening at 3 am. I'm asleep. :-D
I am hoping that we can continue the co-sleeping until Jack is about a year old. My ultimate goal is to get the boys bunk beds and transition Jack to the bottom bunk sometime next spring. If things go my way, I'll still be able to go sleep with Jack part of the night if he needs me. That way Jake gets a really wide berth.
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