Washington State: A Narrative

My trip to Washington was amazing. Here, I shall give you the run down. ;-)

I landed in Seattle around 4pm on Saturday. I had intended to go to a hotel and crash right away, but a huge part of my trip was going to consist of going to the beach (and *coughForkscough*) which I hadn't realized was close to 4 hours away. So, at the last minute, I revised things and planned to stay in Forks the first night.

Let me say, a southern accent goes far in the Pacific Northwest. I booked a little compact car through Alamo and they upgraded me to a sports car. I don't think I've ever driven a 2 door car for an extended period of time, so it took some getting used to. And, goodness, the people in Washington simply do.not.speed. Whatever the posted speed limit was, that's how fast they generally went. I saw a few people coasting by at maybe 5 MPH over, but it was pretty rare. So here I am in this very sporty Eclipse (the name of the car=the name of my favorite book in the Twilight series, coincidentally) going the speed limit for the most part.

So after making my way down around Puget Sound and up through Port Angeles, I finally got to head back south toward Forks. And, FTR, no matter how amazing Edward Cullen's senses were, his car would've bitten the dust between Port Angeles and Forks if he was going above about 50, especially on this one very precarious 15 mile stretch.

I finally arrived in Forks around 8:30 and checked into the Miller Tree Inn Bed & Breakfast. Forks has, understandably, really taken the Twilight series and run with it. The Miller Tree Inn has been dubbed "The Cullen House" as it is one of the biggest houses in the city.


Most of the guests were in the living room chatting with the owners when I arrived. I was so beat, though, that I pretty much went straight to my room and crashed.

Feeding into the whole "Cullen House" theme, they had these in each room:




I decided my room would be Esme's room since it was the smallest in the house and her character is so giving and selfless.



And, of course, they had some excellent reading material in the room. I guess Breaking Dawn was a bit too risque for them. LOL

They also had this hanging in their living room, which I thought was really neat. It was only in the film, so no book basis, but I thought it was clever.



Forks, quite honestly, reminded me a lot of my hometown. A few gas stations, a few eateries, some shops, and that was about it.

Even so, I still wanted to drive through and see what the town was all about. The last stop within the city was the chamber of commerce, which had "Bella's" truck parked out front.



While Forks was a cute little town, the whole trip was made worth while by my excursion to La Push (home of the Quileute Tribe) and the beach. As I was driving, I caught sight of the ocean through a break in the trees and I literally gasped. I had never seen anything like it. We always vacation on the gulf and the waves tend to be gently rolling. These waves were big and loud and beautiful. Wow.

First Beach was my first stop.



There was a ton of drift wood on the beaches. The peninsula is heavy in the logging industry, so I assume that all the wood on the beach is stuff that fell off logging transports.



It was beautiful, but it was cold! It warmed up later in the day, but while I was on the beach it was cold enough that I didn't mind looking dorky for a bit of warmth.



I picked up some rain boots on the way to the airport in Kansas City and I was glad I did. I was walking on the beach when a particularly strong wave snuck up on me. Note the wet jeans.



I've been scribbling this in the sand every time I'm on a beach for the last 10 years.



I also wanted to go to Second Beach while I was there as I'd heard it was also very beautiful. On the way, I saw this sign. It is one of those moments when you have to kind of check yourself to make sure you saw what you saw. It makes total sense based on the geography of where I was, it just took me by surprise for some reason.



To get to Second Beach, you have to hike. I didn't really realize how far I was going to have to go until I was too far in to go back. It was worth the hike, but I could've done without the blisters. Have I mentioned how big the trees are in the PNW? They are huge. And beautiful.



When I finally got to Second Beach, you have to climb over all this to get to the actual beach part.



There were lots of tidal pools on this beach and I was really hoping to see some little stranded ocean life, but there were none to be seen.



One great thing about Washington (that I wish Arkansas would look into doing) is these turnouts. It is illegal to make a line of 5 cars or more behind you, so they provide these paved or graveled turnouts every mile or so for slow drivers to pull over in. I used this one to take a nap on the way back to Ft. Lewis, where I stayed Sunday night.


My sinuses ended up flaring up intensely on Sunday night, to the point that I thought I might have to find a doctor on Monday. An early bedtime with some Advil PM helped, though, and I was feeling much better by the time Monday came around.

Monday, I spent most of the day on the Tacoma waterfront having lunch with some friends. I think we were there for 3.5 hours. It was a great time and so pretty. I stayed in a hotel near the airport that evening, so I went and checked in early and then went into Seattle that evening.


Unfortunately, most stuff in the cool shopping areas were either closed or closing since I went in the evening. And there were about a million rug shops. I was amazed at the amount of rug shops.

Since so many things were closed, I didn't go down to the fish market, which I had really wanted to do. Maybe next time.

Another great thing about Washington (well, at least some areas)? This:


The put the calories on fast food menus. I've heard about this but never seen it in practice. Let me tell you, it is pretty effective. I simply could.not avoid looking at the calorie content of what I wanted. Fortunately, I only went to to this fast food restaurant for some ice cream. And I got a small, vanilla cup. Calorie counts, you know? I think this is something the south should look into doing. It would certainly change the way I ate.

Tuesday is when the real excitement started, although I don't have any pictures of that. I ended up in Minneapolis, where they canceled my flight to Kansas City. They put us all up in hotels and I ended up at The Raddison in some sort of incredibly swanky suite. King size sleep number bed, tub with jets, huge tvs, and room service! I almost wish I could've stayed another night. But I was very ready to come home and as soon as I got to Kansas City I jumped in my car and hit the road.

While I like to think the boys were happy to see me, Spencer immediately started telling me he hadn't wanted me to go and Jack acted like I was a stranger for about 15 minutes and clung to Dara (my sister) for his dear life. Everyone is back to normal now, though. And I'm glad to be back.

Feeling the Burn

Last week, I had the most fabulous daydream and it has been recurring ever since.

In this daydream, I am alone and it is silent. I sleep all night and sleep late in the mornings. I feel rested and the bags and dark circles under my eyes were magically gone.

It doesn't take a genius to know that I would be sans kids in this daydream. The bottom line? I am burned out.

Now don't get me wrong, I love my kids with every fiber of my being. But it is kind of like being on an airplane when the little oxygen face masks pop down from the ceiling: you have to put your own mask on first before you put the masks on your children. There is only so long that I can give before I need to take a bit (or a lot).

Hence, my trip to Seattle that I'm embarking on tomorrow. After over a year of not sleeping through the night, of nursing day and night, of hauling kids in and out of car seats, grocery stores, and restaurants, I just need a bit of time for me.

That isn't to say that I never get any time for me as things stand now. Jake is great about being around so I can get out of the house to see a movie or something. I'd probably go a lot more often if we had a decent bookstore or coffee spot that was open past 6. But I was still coming home and not sleeping all night. Let me tell you, sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture for a reason.

So I'm going to Seattle tomorrow. And I'm going to drive to the ocean and sit in the sand and listen to the waves in the quiet. I can't wait.

Mandy's Breastfeeding 101

Note: I am not a medical professional, nor do I play one on tv. I'm just a mommy who nursed. And nursed. And nursed. ;-)

As my nursing relationship with Jack is slowing down (and hopefully coming to a close within the next few months), and as I prepare to nurse another baby beginning this fall, I was reflecting on why it "worked out" for me when it doesn't for so many women.

I am a member of a lot (seriously, way too many) message boards online and the breastfeeding misinformation out there is overwhelming. And, unfortunately, a lot of it comes from medical professionals. That really stinks as you would think that they would be the people that could help you the most. Turns out that doctors and nurses get very little, if any, information on lactation in school (or so says my sister the nurse).

In fact, it was a nurse that led me to fail at breastfeeding Spencer. Spencer, the baby who only got to come home from the NICU because he was nursing so well. She basically scared the pants off of me. Here I was, all of 22 years old, taking home (by myself b/c Jake was in Iraq) a 4 pound, 5 ounce baby. I was terrified as much as I was thrilled. As we were preparing to leave, the discharge nurse came in and asked if I planned on exclusively breastfeeding. "Of course!" I said. She then informed me that they don't EVER recommend exclusively breastfeeding a premature baby (apparently, regardless of how well he's breastfeeding or how much weight he's putting on while doing it), and as she told me this she pushed a can of formula into my hands. That, alone, wouldn't have been enough to keep me from succeeding. But then she told me to have him weighed by Friday and, if he hadn't gained enough weight, they'd readmit him. And that is what scared me so.

But I digress. Kind of.

Anyway, before Jack arrived, I read. Man, oh, man, did I ever read. I read books on childbirth. On VBACs. On midwives. And, most important to the topic of this post, on breastfeeding. This is something I failed to do with Spencer, and with good reason; I was too busy researching prematurity to worry about what would happen after he actually got here in one piece. (I'll recommend some books in a moment...)

So, without further ado, these are the things that, I feel, made me a successful breastfeeder:

• Watch the baby, not the clock. This is one of the most important first things I can recommend. New babies nurse A LOT. They nurse often and they nurse for long durations. This is normal. It doesn't mean you don't have enough milk. In fact, new babies aren't even hungry for several days; all the marathon nursing in the beginning is what brings in your milk. About the time they start getting hungry, your milk will come in and they will be sated. The most important tenet of nursing is supply and demand: if you don't let the baby demand it, you won't supply it.
• No bottles or formula in the house. I assure you that I was as dedicated to nursing as a person could be when Jack was born. But let me tell you, when you are tired and the baby has been having a marathon nursing session (Jack's tended to last from 3-6 am, pure torture) the temptation to give a bottle is there. If there is a REAL problem that reveals itself, I promise you can find a 24 hour Wal-Mart and get something. If you deliver at the hospital, they will send you home with a "breastfeeding bag" that has, drumroll please, formula in it. Where is the logic in that? Anyway, leave it at the hospital. At the very least, have your husband hide it and only let you have it if the baby isn't having wet/dirty diapers by the 4th-ish day or has lost more than 10% of its birth weight. And speaking of losing birth weight...
• Please note that IV fluids can increase baby's birth weight. You wouldn't think this would be a big breastfeeding consideration, but it is. Let's say that, before IV fluids, baby weighs 7 pounds. This is the weight s/he would be born at if you got no IV fluids in labor. So you get to the hospital and they hook you up to an IV that is running the saline the whole time you're in labor. Obviously the baby gets what you get, so the baby takes on fluid as well. Now the baby weighs 7 pounds, 8 ounces (and I have no idea how much fluid weight a baby would really take on, this is just an example I pulled out of the air). Baby is going to naturally shuck this water weight after birth. And babies naturally lose some weight after birth anyway (Jack got down to 8 pounds, 4 ounces at his lowest, which was about 9%). So it will appear that baby has lost more weight than he actually has, b/c some of that weight is water and not actual body mass. I hope that makes sense.
• If you are having problems, or just need some reassurance, call someone! But NOT your pediatrician or OB. Sometimes even the lactation nurses at the hospital aren't very good (sometimes they are, but I've heard some bad info come from them too). I recommend calling a mommy friend you are comfortable with who nursed successfully, seeing an Independent Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC will follow their name), or calling someone from La Leche League (I've linked the Arkansas La Leche League page). I was having some pain when Jack was nursing and, even though there isn't a LLL in my city, I called a leader from the Little Rock chapter and she helped me over the phone and sent me some links with video to help me out. I know that LLL can get a bad rap, but seriously, they can help you! If they are local to you, someone will even come over and help you for free. They want to see you succeed. Also, if LLL is local to you, I recommend you attend some meetings while pregnant. Part of the reason that women have so much trouble nursing is, in my opinion, that we don't see anyone nursing anymore. The formula companies convinced our mothers and grandmothers that formula was superior and so a lot of our breastfeeding knowledge was lost. Go to a meeting, talk to women, get an idea of what is normal and what's not.
• No artificial nipples (bottles or pacifiers) for 4-6 weeks. Of course, YMMV on this, but personally I wouldn't introduce a bottle until 4 weeks and a paci until 2-3 weeks. Babies suck on artificial nipples differently that human nipples and I promise you don't want a baby with a bad latch stuck to your body. Also, bottles generally just pour milk out so baby doesn't have to work as hard. Well, obviously baby could grow to prefer the more free flowing milk from a bottle. The work a baby does to nurse actually helps his/her facial and mouth muscles develop appropriately, so there is a reason they have to work for the milk.
• Watch out for meddling mothers/mothers-in-law. Unless they have successfully breastfed, of course. I will never forget how badly my step-mother wanted to nurse my little sister. Even at the ripe old age of 12, I noticed how often she talked about it and how badly she wanted it. Well, Hannah arrived and she nursed like all new babies nursed (I assume, I was 12 after all): frequently and for long durations. And what did my step-mother's mother say? "That baby is STARVING! Just give her a bottle." And what did my father say? "That baby is STARVING! Just give her a bottle." That is enough to shake anyone's confidence. And so Hannah got a bottle from then on. I've also heard of mothers/mothers-in-law telling a tired mommy to go take a nap while they watch the baby and then sneaking the baby formula. For shame.

Great books:

"So That's What They're For!" by Janet Tamaro (By far my favorite.)

"The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding"

Great websites:

La Leche League

Kellymom (This is like the one stop shop for breastfeeding information. It even answers questions on medications you can take and has a great FAQ section.)

Of course, YMMV. Like I said, those pieces of advice are what got ME through breastfeeding Jack. :-)

Happy Birthday, Jack!

One year ago today, at the exact time I've set this post to publish, my second child was born.

His birth was by far one of the most healing things I've ever done and parenting him has been by far one of the most difficult. I wouldn't change it for the world.

Seriously? Well, Apparently.

Tonight on the news, I heard a snippet about a high school in Rhode Island that will be firing ALL of its teachers. I think I got whiplash trying to turn around to catch the rest of the segment.

Apparently, this poverty stricken school in Rhode Island is sucking. Their graduation rate is hoovering around 50%, 90% of their students are living below the poverty level, and 25% of the students are ESL (English as a second language). In my experience, as limited as it may be, the last two of these things can pretty much guarantee a struggling school.

Now, here is the question: WHY are they firing all the teachers?

Well, in reading through a few articles, it sounds like it might be two-fold. CBS Link ABC Link

CBS makes it sound like the teachers are being let go simply because their school is underperforming. The ABC article goes a bit more in depth, and it turns out that the teachers want to get paid for the extra 25 minutes a day they would be working (among other new responsibilities). The teacher's union said no way and so the teachers will be fired.

Now, I don't know about you, but I don't work for free. Work is work. If I was an hourly employee, that 25 minutes would be worth money. Why should that 25 minutes not be worth money to a salaried teacher? After all, that extra 25 minutes a day works out to be an extra 2 weeks worth of work over the course of a 190 day school calendar.

I also don't feel like teacher performance should be so strictly tied to student achievement. Sure, the lazy teacher who sleeps in class and, literally, doesn't even try to teach (shout out to my 11th grade Chem teacher, Mr. Miller!) is not going to have students who are knocking people's socks off. But I firmly believe there are plenty of fabulous teachers out there who have students who could give a shit about education. Those students are not going to do what needs to be done. I also believe there are plenty of fabulous teachers out there who have students who just can't do the whole school thing. And that's fine. I'm a firm believer that a lot of today's school curriculum is not necessary. The world needs gas station attendants probably more than it needs CEOs.

Regardless, I think the firing of all the school's teachers is excessive at best and downright idiotic at worst.

Maybe its good that I got out of education.

Jack Gets Life

So we're at the park today and Jack somehow managed to snag my phone. He's always liked to fiddle around with it, trying to push the buttons and whatnot (he called 911 once and how he did it I'll never know; you have to hit a digital button that says "dial" and then the numbers are all digital as well, but I digress...), but today he did something different. He held it up to his ear and said, "Eeh."

He says "eeh" about everything pretty much. If I had to label his words, I'd say he could discriminately say "mama," "daddy," and "nurse" (which sounds like "na-na" while he frantically does the sign for nurse). "Eeh" is just his general noise. But I was just flabbergasted to see him put the phone to his ear. Like a real person! And he figured it out all on his own, just by watching us! Smart boy.

I can remember feeling this way about Spencer as well, how amazing it was to watch them go from baby to toddler right before my very eyes. For my boys, the pattern has seemed to be walking, then talking, and by the time they are doing both of those things they are like their own little person.

I mean, technically they've always been people, but to me toddlers just have so much more personality. They get mad about things other than food and diaper changes and happy about figuring out how the world works. If I had to pick, the toddler phase is by far my very most favorite. Like little sponges, they are. It is super fun.

You'd Never Know How Wild They Are...

when you see a sweet pic like this (taken pre-illness).


(And, uh, pardon all the laundry on the couch. We were in the middle of folding...)